Chocolate chip cookies.

So since going to the doctor I have debated whether or not to continue to blog about my personal health. At times it almost seems too personal. I feel like I want to keep it a secret. Not sure how to explain why I feel that way, but I do.

PCOS is THE most common reason for infertility, but yet when I mention it to people they have no clue what I'm talking about. And yes, more than likely I will be able to have a baby. But really the word INFERTILE stings, and every time I go to the doctor and they say it... it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I went to the doctor again Monday for the ovarian ultrasound and labs. I have to say that as much as I'm beginning to hate going to the doctor I LOVE my midwife. I think she is a hippie angel. lol. really. She told me before I went to the ultrasound room that if I had cystic ovaries they would look like pearls or Swiss cheese or chocolate chip cookies... I thought they looked most like chocolate chip cookies. My ovary being the "cookie" and the cysts or follicles being the "chocolate chips". kinda gross. It was clear as can be and they didn't even wait for my labs to come back to put the official diagnosis on file.

What now?

Well, I go back next Monday to see an OB/GYN at the same office. From what I understood from my midwife I will take a prescription to jump start my cycle and then begin taking Clomid. I'm nervous and I'm scared. Yes, this is what I want, but I keep asking myself am I really ready? Everything will change. 80% of women who take Clomid will ovulate and 50% will get pregnant. Who knew that getting knocked up was so hard? Am I ready to add an infant to the mix? Am I ready for the disappointment if the Clomid doesn't work for me?

And I'm a pansy. I don't want to be sick :( I haven't thrown up in over a decade. seriously. I do not want to break the record now.

And Lord help Chris and I if we have multiples. I won't even think about it.

Tomorrow is picture day and as soon as Gabe got home today he said, "Put on the bathing suits and wear for picture day!" No can do pal :( Although that would be pretty funny.

This Sunday is the kids big bday bash. I'm sooo very excited for this! I love that our families will get to socialize and that the kids will have friends from school come to see them. It should be a blast! I just hope it doesn't rain :/

And Joey turns 9 tomorrow :) They are growing up soo fast. He is getting so tall (still skinny), and he has improved by leaps and bounds socially and academically. His vocabulary has sky rocketed the past year :) I am soo proud of him!

Well I need to get off here and get the kids stuff ready for tomorrow.