Take A Look At Your Priorities.

So like Jeff Foxworthy has the "You might be a redneck" jokes I am going to start my own thing :) You'll catch on quick b/c all my friends are pretty smart. lol. :/

If you go to a restaurant and you get great service and you tip less than 15%... take a look at your priorities.

If you spend more time at DA CLUB than you do with DA KIDS... take a look at your priorities.

If you don't have a job and you got bills to pay... take a look at your priorities.

If you spend more money on yourself than you do your kids... take a look at your priorities.

If your kids look like Appalachian Kids and you look like Macy's catalog ad... take a look at your priorities.

and this is the last one for today...

If you are past high school age and you are still living your life high school way... take a look at your priorities!

This is not never neverland people! wake up and smell REALITY!

Feel free to add your own "Take a look at your priorities" I'd like to see what you can muster up :)

Sincerely - Your Domestic In Tune With Reality Maven

Kids say the funniest shtuff.

Today has been one heck of a day :/ Some days I wonder how I keep my sanity and quite frankly I'm almost positive I'm not keeping it but in fact losingggg it. One thing I can always count on though is a good laugh induced by one of my crazy step-kids :) right now I can here Joey "Get in bed Gabe! Lay down! I'm telling Daddy!"....

Ok. So he came down the hall with a stuffed snake animal tied around his waist calling for Chris. They (Gabe and Ethan) aren't playing the game Joey's way. He's upset :/ I tell them to play nice and then I keep hearing chaos. Grinch my way to the bedroom and Joey is turning the T.V. off out of spite.

Now they've shut the door... I can still hear them though. duhhh lol.

So back to how they can give me a laugh when I'm near the abyss of insanity.

Today in the car Mary and Ethan were discussing a Quicksand Apocalypse. This is how it escalated:
Mary - If you step in quicksand you cant ever get out and you die.
Ethan - Yea! but if you are a Giant then you wont sink and you wont die. As long as it's a small quicksand.
Mary - But if it's a big quicksand and a Giant steps in it they will die!
Ethan - What if everything was quicksand?! The trees? The road? Those buildings?!
Mary - The Playground? That car?!What if everything turned to quicksand and it was a Quicksand Earth?!
Ethan - ... and everything sunk into everything and it was a big quicksand planet and we all died?!

Good Lord! What nuts! They are great entertainment.

Also, topping the charts today is Joey jamming out to "Dont fear the reeper" by Blue Oyster Cult on the paper jamz guitar. lol. It's hilarious and too cute at the same time.

Or Joey calling Santa "Walrus!" to his face at his classroom christmas party. More than once.

Or Gabe farting at the dinner table tonight and laughing about it then pinching his nose.

Good times.

Big Girls Got Game.

So I'm listening to Kidd Kraddick this morning and they are discussing this new reality show "More to Love". They are of course poking some fun at the hilarity of a "Big Girl" Bachelor, but they did discuss the fact that more attention should be placed on the average size american woman (which is a size 14) vs. the size 2 model type of woman.

I agree to a certain extent. I would love to see women with a more curvy figure gracing the runways of the top designers or appearing on the front covers of magazines. In a way they have. Celebrities like Beyonce and The Kardashians have made being curvy popular. BUT where are the meaty girls? lol. Slim is beautiful too though.

Then Kidd Kraddick and his posse start in on how overweight/ obese women typically have self image issues. How when they go to the bars and clubs they dont get hit on as much or drinks bought for them. Also, that being on this reality show to find love has dramatically boosted their waning self esteem and that not making the shows cut is going to just confirm the fact they have been battling with their whole life. They will never be skinny enough. pretty enough. smart enough. GOOD enough.

Welllllllll... it just made me think that no matter who is on the front cover of Vogue or whatever. What is most important is being happy with yourself. I suppose some women really do struggle with their self image but I like to think that I'm ok with what I look like. YEA YEA I do have have my days where I feel like a fat slob and NOTHING looks good on me and the sight of my naked body makes me laugh but want to cry. lol. But isn't that every woman?!

And the whole bit about big girls cant get anyone bc they are big. PUHLEASE. Before I met my husband I had a very active dating life. I frequented clubs and bars and I had drinks bought for me and I got phone numbers. Maybe the guys who only like super thin girls didnt hit on me, but I think I had the results I did bc I am a confidant woman.

Big girls embrace the booty!!! embrace your thighs and arms and belly and cankles! flaunt it!

I'm not condoning sitting on your couch eating a box of donut holes and doritos. I'm just saying if you are a big girl that eats like everyone else and you lead a fairly active life style then don't be ashamed :)

And good God, why is there such a big stigma about big girls? or skinny? or the in between girls?

Everybody. love. your. body.

The End.

A Chrimmus Quicky.

Right now is one of three times I've sat down today, or at least that's what it feels like. lol.

Wake up to a phone call from Chris' mom telling us to come eat breakfast. This is where my gluttony begins.
Steak. Bacon. Sausage. Scrambled eggs. Fried eggs. Biscuits. Gravy. Grits. Fried Taters. yummmmm...

Kids came home from the moms at noon and Christmas chaos commences! Toys and wrapping paper as far as the eye can see! Last night I was worried that the kids were not going to get enough for Christmas. Today my doubts have been put to rest. They would have been more than happy to receive gifts from Chris and I (so very glad they are not spoiled children!) but my parents and Chris' parents and sister and brother in law came through with some great gifts. After today they may be spoiled after all! AND they still have Christmas at my dads on the 15th of Jan to look forward to :)

I haven't been able to pause for a second to count my blessing today... but besides burning my sweet potato casserole all to heck it has been pretty fantastic :) I literally almost started crying today when I burned it.

I have so very much to be thankful for. I have 4 little blessings in my life. My uncle made the comment today that I gained a ready made family when Chris and I married. In a way I did, but I feel like ALL OF US together is what makes us a family. Just bc you live in a house together doesn't make you a family. A parents being absent in the lives of their children doesn't make a family. But growing together and loving one another all the time 100% and nurturing each other is what I feel like Chris and I are accomplishing. We are not perfect parents, but we give the kids 100% of all we have. I'm just so happy this man and his four wonderful kids came into my life. Go me. Winning!

So that was that my Christmas :) Kids are still up. Which is INSANE bc bedtime is typically 8 pm but we decided to let them party like it's 1999. Christmas is after all just one day a year. Well I'm EXHAUSTED. Blog mo latah.

How I met the hubs ;)

So I said that one day I would fill you in on how I met Chris, my husband. Who knew it would be today? lol. I'm home from a particularly bad night at work and I think telling a happy story before bed will cheer me up :)

Well it all began in April 2010. I was seeing this guy named Richard ( I've changed his name to protect his identity ) and things were going pretty well to be honest. Then one day I was at a good friends house, Jan, and she asked me if I was seeing anyone. I said yes. and she said she worked with a guy who was a single dad with some kids and she was wondering if I would get to know him and be his friend. lol. she said she understood I was dating someone but this guy just needed someone nice to talk to :) well hey I'm nice!

So she gave him my phone number and we began texting each other. We did that for awhile and after a month or so Richard and I broke up. So sad. Not really lol. It was after that when Chris first asked me out on a date. Of course, I said yes but I really didnt think we would end up being anything more than friends. I didnt have time in my life for a man going through a divorce and that had kids! I was just going for what I hoped would be good company and a free meal. hahahaha...

The day of our date comes and Chris arrives on my door step with a dozen roses :) how sweet! Plus he is wearing a MARVEL t-shirt (tucked into his jeans). I thought "What have I gotten myself into?!" Our date was so nice though :) We went to Kanpai for dinner and then went for a walk downtown. The time was scattered with those awkward silences that happen on first dates, and when we did look each other in the eye one of us almost immediately looked away. He didnt try to hold my hand (or anything else) and he didnt make inappropriate comments. I honestly didnt know if I liked him or not. By that time in my life I had NEVER EVER experienced a true gentleman. I didnt know how to take it.

After our walk we went bowling ( Chris bowls in a league so he is very good ) and of course I lost and he won. If there is one thing I know I will remember forever its that when we were bowling Chris gave me a high-5 (cheeeeesy) and I felt this electricity between us when he touched my hand :) I didnt know what was so special about him that first night but I knew I would keep seeing him.

Turns out he is perfect for me in every way :) and he still is a perfect gentleman. Still opens doors for me. Still tells me I'm beautiful. I consider myself verrrrry lucky. He's a good ole chap :)

Til next time! Your Domestic Maven!

Starting my blog :)

Well here I am! I decided to start blogging. I've been thinking lately that I have WAY too much material not to share with everyone. In just less than 2 years I have went from promiscuous/ hormone driven girl to a married women with 4 children! I promise my husband isn't slipping me ruffies daily.

I suppose I should start by introducing my family.

Of course there is me, Christy
and then Chris my husband :)
and then the four kids, Gabe, Joey, Ethan, and Mary
and last but not least Batman, Queen Sheeba, and Manny (our cats).

Perhaps on another day I will do some background story telling about how exactly I came to be a stepmother and wife. Not today though. It's a longgggg story.

But I did want to give you a glimpse into my life. My everyday chaotic life.

Yesterday I wake up and the kids have actually let me sleep until 9. Whoa. That never happens. I've been catching a cold for a few days now so I'm feeling a bit under the weather ( just so you know I'm a big baby when I'm sick so I text Chris at work as soon as I wake up and whine about how awful I feel lol ). I make the kids breakfast and go to start a load of clothes. Normal morning. Halfway through the basket of dirty clothes is a bath towel suspiciously wrapped up..... I open it up.... and it's POOP!!!!!! I just stare at the poop in my bath towel and wonder..... what the hell!?

I failed to mention earlier that Gabe and Joey are first of all 9 and 8 years old and autistic. Ethan and Mary are 6 (twins) and do not have autism.

Ok! so back to my story. I think it could have been any of them, but I'm thinking more it's Joey. He likes to get into bizarre things or just do things differently for the sensory effect. I'm not an expert in autism by any means, and until you live it... you have no idea.

I keep getting side tracked. So.. I call for Joey to come to the laundry room and as soon as he see's me with the Poopy Towel he makes a small noise and a guilty face which to me says "I did it!" so I ask him "Joey did you wipe your butt with the towel?" and he says "no". I asked him again and he said "yes" then went to the bathroom and wiped his butt again :/

Keep in mind I said earlier I had a cold. so I couldnt smell anything. On closer inspection it was not poop but actually wet catfood he had mixed with water I'm assuming and then tried to hide it in the towel. lol.

Later that same day. I took the boys with me to Wal-mart (Mary was staying with her cousin). We go in for maybe 30-40 minutes. Get back to the car and I can't find my keys! Great! The boys starting getting in the car anyways, which I thought odd bc I always lock my doors... So I thought maybe they fell out of my purse while I was getting out of the car. I open the driver side door.... and the keys are still in the ignition! and my car is still running!!!! How brainless!

We have good days and bad days, and this wasnt a bad day. Just crazy. And EVERYDAY is crazy.

Well thats it for now. Comment. Ask questions. See you next time!
*ps. I'm sure you noticed my grammar and perhaps spelling was horrible but I really dont care lol